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| INDEX Audience Props Audience Call Back Guide |
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![]() Click here to print our "Audience Props" section. |
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THROWING RULE BUBBLES As with any wedding, when the Bride and Groom leave the Church, blow your bubbles! Restriction NEWSPAPERS After leaving their car, Brad and Janet make their way to the castle through a rainstorm … SMALL SQUIRT BOTTLES A few squeezes in the air above your head as Brad and Janet walk through the rain … get it? Restriction FLASHLIGHTS When you hear the chorus start singing "there's a light over at the Frankenstein place" RestrictionRUBBER GLOVES Each time Frank snaps his rubber gloves; you should snap yours in sync … talk about sound effects! NOISEMAKERS At different points of Frank's creation speech the Transylvanians express their approval BUBBLES As Frank takes Rocky to the honeymoon suite, blow bubbles as you would for any bride and groom! RestrictionTOILET TISSUE When Dr. Scott enters the lab, Brad cries out "Great Scott!" Restriction TOAST Traditionally, when Frank lifts his ‘glass’ to Rocky’s birthday, PARTY HAT When Frank puts on a party hat to celebrate Rocky’s birthday, you should do the same. BELL During "Planet Schmanet Janet," ring your bell when Frank sings "Did you hear a bell ring?" PLAYING CARDS When you hear Frank sing "Cards for sorrow, cards for pain" during his song “I’m Going Home”, Restriction NO Real HOT DOGS At many shows fans will throw hot dogs at the appropriate mention in the film. Restriction |
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![]() Compiled by Pat S.P. Fitzgerald, Kelly Fitzgerald and Andy Clarke Click here to print our "Audience Call Back Guide" section. |
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Much like a pocket phrase book you carry when traveling abroad, one should never attend a Transylvanian Convention without their handy dandy Call Back Guide to get you through the evening. |
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| SCENE | Film Moment | CALL BACK | ||
| SCI-FI DOUBLE FEATURE | Titles | |||
| told us where we stand | On our heads! | ||
| in a celluloid jam | Yay! Smuckers! | ||
| it came from | Where? | ||
| outer space | Thank you! | ||
| tarantula took to the hills | Lick it! | ||
| used lots of skills | Sex kills! | ||
| but when worlds collide | Clap! (actually CLAP) | ||
| I'm gonna give you | Some joints and some pills! | ||
| like a | X-ray! | ||
| WEDDING | |||
| we really did it. | Hit him! Hit him back! | ||
| gonna throw the bouquet | Who's got the clap? | ||
| wasn't it wonderful? | No! | ||
| look radiantly beautiful? | No! | ||
| she was plain ol' Betty | Dildo! | ||
| she's Mrs. Ralph | Dipshit! She was better off an hour ago! | ||
| a lucky guy | No, he's not! She's got the clap! | ||
| wonderful little cook | She's the hottest baked potato in Denton. Yay! Denton! The home of happiness! What the f*ck's a billboard doing in a cemetery? |
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| DAMMIT JANET | |||
| the river was deep | And I drowned! | ||
| one thing to say and it's | Crammit Janet, let's go screw! | ||
| but I ran it | Backwards! | ||
| one thing to say and it's | Only assholes write on churches! | ||
| Here's the ring to prove | That I'm an asshole! | ||
| ways that love can go | Sex Drugs and Rock & Roll! | ||
| that's | Gay, straight or bi-sexual! | ||
| J-A-N-E-T | I want a blow! | ||
| one thing to say and it's | Brad, you fag! Fuck you too! | ||
| Oh Brad | Oh shit! | ||
| And that's go see | the man who picks his nose! | ||
| science exam it, made me | Give you the finger and then ram it! | ||
| Oh Brad! | You fag! | ||
| CRIMINOLOGIST – 1 | |||
| That man has no f*cking neck! | \|||
| I would like | Oh you WOULD, would you? | ||
| If I may | You may | ||
| to take you | Where? | ||
| on a strange journey | How strange was it? So strange they made a movie about it. Not the book, the movie! |
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| Brad Majors | Asshole! | ||
| Janet Weiss | Slut! | ||
| dark storm clouds | Describe your balls! | ||
| toward which they were driving | Is it true you're also gay? | ||
| badly in need of some air | So's your f*cking neck! | ||
| on a night out | Come a little bit closer, Chuckie! | ||
| they were going to remember | For how long | ||
| pretty cheap to that type | Yay! That type! | ||
| that spare tire fixed! | Asshole! | ||
| in the middle of nowhere | What's white and sells hamburgers? | ||
| I'm coming with you. | That'll be a first! | ||
| might be a beautiful woman | He is. | ||
| never come back again | You should be so lucky! | ||
| FRANKENSTEIN PLACE | |||
| there's a light | WAVE glow sticks and flashlights around until ... | ||
| in the darkness | Darkness, asshole! | ||
| ... and TURN off your lights | |||
| CRIMINOLOGIST – 2 | |||
| that their plight required | Are you sure? | ||
| THE CASTLE | |||
| my name's Brad Majors | Asshole! | ||
| fiancé Janet Weiss | Slut! | ||
| phone we might use? | Look between Janet's legs!" | ||
| you better both | Fuck off! | ||
| come inside | I don't care where you come as long as you clean it up! Hey Janet! What's one kind plus one kind?" | ||
| You're too kind | She's all kinds! | ||
| having a party? | No, it's my sister's bat mitzvah! | ||
| she's lucky, I'm lucky | The banister's lucky! | ||
| TIME WARP | |||
| but listen closely | For how long?" | ||
| I've got to | Smoke a bowl!" | ||
| with voyeuristic intention | Where are your tits? | ||
| well secluded | What do you see? | ||
| with a bit of the mind | F*ck! | ||
| into the time slip! | F*ck that bird! | ||
| he had a pickup truck | And a dick this size! | ||
| SWEET TRANSVESTITE | |||
| cold and wet and I'm just plain scared! | That's not what you said last night! | ||
| look like you're both pretty groovy | Not! | ||
| both in a bit of a hurry | Left! | ||
| Right | Left! | ||
| go back to the car | We both want to f*ck Tim Curry! | ||
| So | What? | ||
| up to the lab and | F*ck me on the slab! | ||
| antici … … | Say it! Con-sta… … | ||
| I'll remove | Your clothes. And what about Bart and Lisa? | ||
| but not | The Simpsons! | ||
| UNDRESSED | |||
| nice a job to rush | Yay! Rush! | ||
| right arm for the privilege | Or their left tit. | ||
| I've seen it! | And I don't do laundry! | ||
| ROCKY'S CREATION | |||
| accident to make it happen | A what? | ||
| I hold the secret | To life? | ||
| to life | Itself? | ||
| beautiful creature is destined to be | F*cked! | ||
| the reactor power input | Three more joints! | ||
| SWORD OF DAMOCLES | |||
| is hanging over my head | So that's what that thing is called! | ||
| no way to behave on your first day out | Of the closet! | ||
| okay? OKAY?!? | What do you think of Sarah Palin? | ||
| I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN Part One | |||
| glisten | What's your favorite toothpaste? | ||
| a little bit of ste-ee-eeam | Go! Go! Go! Go! Missed it! Missed it! Now you've got to kiss it! |
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| the smash clean and jerk | Off! | ||
| in just seven days | And seven nights! | ||
| HOT PATOOTIE | |||
| happened to Saturday night? | It's Sunday morning? | ||
| with a chick who'd go. And listen to the | Rocky Horror Picture Show! | ||
| I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN Part Two | |||
| a bicep | What'd ya have for breakfast? | ||
| makes me | Boogie with a midget! | ||
| Charles Atlas by the | Balls! | ||
| CRIMINOLOGIST #3 | |||
| life is an illusion | So's your f*cking neck! | ||
| figment of the imagination | So's your f*cking neck! | ||
| quite safe. | Like your f*ucking neck! | ||
| which grew. | Unlike your neck! | ||
| to their separate rooms | And you make it sound so dirty. | ||
| JANET'S SEDUCTUION | |||
| isn't it nice? | No, it's WEISS. | ||
| done with Brad? | Nothing yet. I saved the best for last! | ||
| isn't all bad | It isn't all Brad, either! | ||
| my heart and hope to die | Stick a dildo in my eye! | ||
| BRAD'S SEDUCTION | |||
| done with Janet? | F*cked the shit out of her! | ||
| no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure. | There is in New Jersey! | ||
| my mother's grave. | Don't talk with your mouth full! | ||
| coming! | So's Brad! | ||
| JANET DISCOVERS ROCKY | |||
| Brad, my darling! | Janet, my slut! | ||
| done this to you?! | Easy, but it would've been easier without the pantyhose. | ||
| made this journey | But you did! | ||
| car hadn't broken down | But it did! | ||
| amongst friends | But you're not! | ||
| CRIMINOLOGIST #4 | |||
| excited mental state | And you can only read about it, asshole! | ||
| that Janet was indeed | A slut! | ||
| TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME | |||
| feeling done in. | And out and in and out and in! | ||
| you mean she's? | Lying? | ||
| and seat wetting. | (JUMPING UP) "Oh shit! My seat's wet!" | ||
| I want more. | Less! | ||
| More. | Less! | ||
| More. | Less! | ||
| More. | Less! | ||
| no resistance, I want to | F*ck your pistons! | ||
| and rub you down. | Up! | ||
| Down. | Up! | ||
| Down. | Up! | ||
| Down. | Up! | ||
| small fraction of the main | Erection! | ||
| give me a friendly hand | Take two! | ||
| DR. SCOTT ARRIVES | |||
| away for a moment. | Doing what?" | ||
| Master. | bating! | ||
| you came here | With a dolphin! | ||
| I was telling the truth. | Assholes don't lie! | ||
| in the zen room. | This place has got roaches! Better smoke 'em out! | ||
| we meet at last. | No, we meet at first. | ||
| Eddie happens to be | My sister!" | ||
| Janet! Dr. Scott! Janet! Brad! Rocky! | Bullwinkle! | ||
| Janet! Dr. Scott! Janet! Brad! Rocky! | Bullwinkle! | ||
| Janet! Dr. Scott! Janet! Brad! Rocky! | Bullwinkle! | ||
| is to be optional. | Toga! Toga! Toga! | ||
| ROCKY'S BIRTHDAY DINNER/EDDIE | |||
| to absent friends. | And dead relatives!" | ||
| another slice anyone? | Brad gets it. Janet gets it. Dr. Scott gets it. Rocky gets it, but he doesn't care. |
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| Dr. Scott! | Janet! Brad! Rocky! Ugh!" | ||
| day he was born | Not the night but the day | ||
| was trouble | Not Monopoly but Trouble | ||
| was the thorn | Not the rose but the thorn | ||
| mother's side | Not the back but the side | ||
| tried in vain | Not the artery but the vein | ||
| nothing but shame | Shame! Shame! Shame! | ||
| cheap little punk! | Yay! Punk! | ||
| in a note that reads | What's it say? What's it say? |
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| out of my head | Spelled H- E_ D | ||
| may be dead | Spelled right? | ||
| carry out their evil deed. | Love Eddie. | ||
| threatened your life with a | Ball point pen? | ||
| what a guy. | What does Santa Claus say? | ||
| makes ya cry. | What does Fat Albert say? | ||
| PLANET SCHMANET JANET | |||
| My veels! | I can't move my cheeks! My socks! | ||
| transport device. You mean? | A vibrator | ||
| working on for quite some time | A working vibrator | ||
| means of perfecting it. | A perfect vibrator! | ||
| so named because of the rocks in his head! | Holy shit! What a bitch! Quick, Magenta throw the switch! | ||
| return to Transylvania, huh? | Vensday, ven else? | ||
| CRIMINOLOGIST - 4 | |||
| had both tasted | Frank's cock! | ||
| Forbidden fruit. | Same thing. | ||
| of little morals | Yay! Of little morals! | ||
| and some persuasion | Gay persuasion | ||
| would they be subjected to? | Shock Treatment! | ||
| floor show that is spoken of. | Where do you masturbate? | ||
| in an empty house. | When do you masturbate? | ||
| in the middle of the night. | The rates are cheaper! | ||
| was clear this was to be | Can we have a picnic? | ||
| No picnic. | Oh, shit! And I brought the ants! | ||
| FLOOR SHOW | |||
| I'm just 7 hours old. | And can't dance! | ||
| what's this, let's see | It's your leg! | ||
| mind had been expanded. | Show us where Frankie landed! | ||
| got to get | The fuck! | ||
| my mind may well snap! | Crackle! And pop! | ||
| bless Lili St. Cyr. | Hey Frank, whose pool is it? | ||
| MUTINY/I'M GOING HOME | |||
| I can explain. | This better be good, we killed you last week. | ||
| I want to come again. | So does Brad! | ||
| in my eyes, and I realize | I'm f*cking stoned! | ||
| how sentimental. | You bitch! | ||
| we were returning to Transylvania | I was speaking French. | ||
| say good bye to all of this. | Goodbye all this! | ||
| and hello | Hello! | ||
| to oblivion. | Hi oblivion. How's the wife and kids? A blink of the eye, a twitch of the lip, the first one who screams gets it right between the tits! |
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| they didn't like me! | Get paranoid, Riff! | ||
| decision had to be made | And I made it! | ||
| to the planet of Transsexual | Where your hair gets a hard on and you come out your ears! | ||
| the moon-drenched shores of | Gitchiegoomie! | ||
| CRIMINLOGIST – 5 | ENDING | |||
| on the planet's face | What'd you have for breakfast? | ||
| some insects. | Why's your phone bill so high? | ||
| Called the human race. | Where's your fucking neck? | ||
| Lost in time | What's your favorite TV show?" | ||
| And lost in space. | And what does this movie lack? | ||
| And meaning. | Don't forget to turn off the globe! Talk about global warming! | ||
| If you have any suggestions for new or updated call backs, please click here to email them to Pat S.P. Fitzgerald, Director. |
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| Top of Page | |||
| Now, get yourself ready and give yourself over to absolute pleasure! |
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